A Poem based on the Minor Arcana

An Unexpected Journey

Time to move

Towards something I cannot yet see

Somewhere safe

Amid my strife

I cannot defeat

I try to find my own escape

Always watching…waiting

As my burdens are too hard to bear

Leaving me buried in the desert sand, my soul has gone

Burned away by a fire deep within

Rain falls

I feel someone now close by

I need for him to stay, but he is already gone

And all that is left, is the past

I dream of him

Until he fades away

Wishful thinking

Won’t bring him back

So I drown again as life moves on

And close my heart, afraid to feel again

The wind blows past

Carrying with it an uneasy calm

My heart still full of sorrow, I seek relief

But something else is there that will not leave

A prisoner of my own fears

I can no longer discern my dreams from reality

Now my mind has lost control

Pain is the only thing that reminds me I am alive

And so I cut myself

To see if I still bleed

I try to find my balance on the edge

To find a way out of my broken thoughts

I lean on those around me

That have been by my side this whole time

Steady and patient

Until I see my old self once again

I  come back to earth, and I have learned

Through all the misery and the pain

Someone was always there, even if unseen

 

The First Poem I Ever Wrote

I believe I feel like sharing this now even though my life story I plan to start sharing through September is about two weeks away…in its own way it is a poem version of how I saw my life from when I was young to when I finally wrote it down on paper last year.

The Arcana of My Life

Innocent and naïve, I once was

Until I saw the world

And what the future held for me because…

Insanity would claimed my mother for its own

While father vanished from my vision, and I knew not where he had gone

I prayed for God to save me, but realized soon he too had left me alone

Abandoned without love, I saw my own personal hell

Life moved on, as I stood still

Broken inside, but I could see that I hid it well

I withdrew into myself, weak and pale

Becoming blind to what was real

Dying felt easier than being alive, as I saw myself hanging from a rope, thin and frail

But Death would not take me yet

Fate was patient, but unkind

For all my sins and regrets, the Devil I did still owe a debt

Though I was not ready when he found his way inside my mind

Hope was fleeting, and I let go

Illusions and nightmares were all that I could now find

I look around my world, where the darkness has not yet won

And wonder what I would do to deserve what was to come

What price must I pay to live my next life out in the sun?